I want to paint gold stars on my bedroom walls. I painted them a dark navy when I moved into my new apartment in June. They had been gray. Or was it cream? I wanted them navy. I thought I wanted them to be white, like every apartment vision board algorithmically calculated for a young woman in her 20s told me I did, but then I saw a photo on Pinterest of deep navy walls… View Post

My anxiety is like a… Bull. Some days, I ride the bull flawlessly, like some Western bull-riding celebrity I’ll never be able to name because bull-riding celebrities don’t become famous in Buffalo, N.Y. I grip on, face every challenge like an expert and even find enjoyable exhilaration in the journey. That can’t be what riding a bull is like most of the time, though, and neither is that what anxiety is usually like for me.… View Post

It’s winter (when it’s not so hot out). It’s winter (when there isn’t so much to do). I’ve had a couple more cups of coffee. I’ve finished reading this book. I’ve eaten. I feel like it. I have time (in the rare form of 12 completely free hours). It’s morning. I’ve awoken from a nap. I have more money. I feel better. Summer ends. *Write that book. Reach out to that person. Research that degree.… View Post

Perhaps you already know this, but Lizzo’s NPR Tiny Desk Concert came out today. For what must be the 22nd time this summer, I found myself dancing to Lizzo at midnight in my living room, singing her lyrics with as much energy as I can muster on a Monday night. Earlier today, on a car ride back from dinner with a friend, a train of thought led me to music I listened to as a… View Post

Summer, and all of its sneering sunshine and enticing activities, infects me with the worst feelings of FOMO. Every summer, like clockwork, my mind’s anxious gears spin with ideas. Every day is a day to not be wasted. This is the first Buffalo summer I’ve experienced where I’m not trying to make it to every band’s show that I’ve vaguely heard of before, or every festival, or every summer destination. But even so, I’ve had… View Post