Today feels like crawling into my dad’s minivan after field hockey practice, honeycrisp apple in hand from my teammate’s organized mom. She was the kind of mom who had a beautiful tote full of beautiful apples and a white smile and who made me feel, in some way, underserving of her apple. Like she meant them for the other girls but not me necessarily, I wasn’t close enough to her daughter to take a honeycrisp… View Post
I’ve spent the summer in a weird state of nostalgia. I like to think I’m the kind of person who doesn’t take major life events seriously — it’s just a ceremony, it’s just a piece of paper — but it turns out I am the opposite of that. I take them way too seriously! And now my days are dotted with flashbacks, some are familiar memories I play back often, some are completely new ones… View Post
A few weekends ago, I saw my first Torn Space show in Buffalo. It was called “Feast” and I went in intentionally knowing nothing except for a couple of video clips I (accidentally!) saw on my friend’s Instagram story. The clips involved a giant cow and what appeared to be a sacrifice on a giant tree and a couple little blonde children running around before I closed the app and tried not to find out… View Post
When I saw the date at work this morning, I exclaimed, “wow it’s already mid-August!?” to my colleague, then followed up with, “Thank God, I’m over summer.” I told a friend I was over summer a few days ago too, saying that I’m not a summer person at all. It’s a different tune than the one I sing in March and April, which is shouts and cries of excitement that the sun is coming out… View Post
I grieve my childhood in bits and pieces. It comes in flashbacks — at the sight of a beaten-up Harry Potter paperback. Or when I see an eight-year-old laugh or mock or sulk, remembering how it felt to be eight, beginning to grapple with the fact that everyone eventually dies from old age, yet age remained an unattainable construct. Old age was something that could never happen to me, at eight. (In a way, twenty-one is… View Post